Three Point One Four

[Enverdi]

My last girlfriend didn't like me thought she might be
Most likely a dyke she just didn't excite me
Lefty? Yeah but that was alright
She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn't that bright
My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony
I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company
Ass like a donkey actin' funky gave her L now she's a flunky
So my love for her died quicker than a batch of Sea Monkeys
Early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word
So what if I'm not the smartest peanut in the turd
I'm white which goes with everything but I can come in any color
And I'm looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother
But it's hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy
And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies?
Like 'em easy and hot and sweet like a Rice Krispie Treat gee
You know what I really want in a girl? Me

I need to find a new vagina
Any kind of new vagina
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Calvin Klein? Kind of North Carolina

Women are like dog doo hear me through don't interrupt
It's just the older that they are the easier they get to pick up
I'd fill the generation gap clean the cobwebs from her rafters
Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture
No age just ain't a gauge I like my girls like my cheese
Preferably for me fat-free American singles only
I want my next chick anorexic the winner is the thinner
Won't have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner
Like Sizzler she got a beef we'll chew the fat
If I forget to put the seat up I can put up with her crap
Let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed I don't play rough
No I can't be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up
Just independent like NOFX smart like Janeane Garafolo
She'd use big words to make fun of me so that I would never know
Bestow upon me all her wisdom of the Dewey Decimal System gee
You know what I really want in a girl? Me

I need to find a new vagina
Any kind of new vagina
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Kevin Kline? Kind of South Carolina

Vagina
Vagina
Vagina
Vagina
Vagina
Vagina
Vagina
Vagina

Enjoy!
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Why use logic when you can just...make stuff up?

[HR-Hannah]

Remind me not to read your posts before work Enverdi. BUT, I'm dying laughing imagining Beau's reaction to it.
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You turn to Trevor Rage and ask, "What the fuck were you thinking?"

[HR-Faith]

Why am I getting visions of Kid Rock singing that?
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Counselor Faith Tempest
Medic Guru
hr-faith@haelrahv.com


"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." -- Bilbo Baggins --

[HR-Mickey]

Bloodhound Gang, but close enough.
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Mickey Brunner

To make a long story short, don't tell it.

I may be going nowhere, but I'm going nowhere fast.
---
Kelvin Watt says, "I stopped drinking coke when no longer drinking beer didn't make my gut disappear."
---
Kaelin Rae says, "Wait a minute..."
Kaelin Rae says, "You mean they have a COKE machine that dispenses beer."
Kaelin Rae nods to you.
Kaelin Rae says, "Greaser."
Kaelin Rae looks at you and sighs.

[soundless]

but where's the part that makes the pi title make sense!?
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A bright-eyed Thekko Ku Kalla dressed in a dapper sailor suit takes to flight and careers through the air toward the Modan Kucho and slams into him!
With a high-pitched cry, The Modan Kucho collapses in death.

[Enverdi]

Glad y'all like it!
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Why use logic when you can just...make stuff up?

[HR-Mickey]

[indigone]

Crap, I'm a math teacher and came clicking on this thread thinking I'd have something to offer.

Now I just feel old and out of touch

[Daedalus]

Hooray for the Bloodhound Gang! And random posts!
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