Ken and Barbie

[the blue fairy]

Ken shocked, hurt by Barbie snub but ready to rebound

Dear Barbie,
Where do I begin?
I was hanging out at our Malibu Dream House, waxing the Barbie Convertible Roadster when I saw the news.
Of all the ways for me to learn that our 42-year relationship was coming to an end, I can't believe I found out on "Entertainment Tonight."
I mean, can you imagine how I feel? Mary Hart and Bob Goen knew you were dumping me before I knew!
I know I've been a bit aloof lately, spending more time on the golf course and watching a lot of "American Idol," but I can't help it; I don't really have much of a life outside of you.
Take a look at my existence for a minute, sweet-cheeks.
The only things I own are the shirts on my back. The cars, the boats, the houses, even the pets belong to you.
Barbie this, Barbie that.
It takes a special kind of man to live in your shadow all the time -- but I have gladly done that for almost 50 years now.
I've been your trusting, faithful boy toy for years, and this is how you repay me? By holding a press conference to announce that we are over?
I feel like Minnie Driver after Matt Damon let her go on Oprah's show.
To think I even stuck by you when all those rumors were flying around about you and G.I. Joe.
I was the butt of every dinner-party joke for years. Still, I stayed with you.
But this is the last straw.
Two days before Valentine's Day and you are on your yacht heading to Australia to hook up with some new slickster named "Blaine."
Oh, yeah, don't think I haven't heard you talk about how you "Can't wait for Blaine to show up."
Fun, exciting Blaine!
Well, that's just great, my darling!
I'll tell you one thing for sure, doll-face; I've seen this guy. And you thought people had me pegged for a closet homosexual? This guy makes me look like John Freakin' Wayne.
Yeah, I hope you two have a swinging time together although I am a little worried about how your "friend" River is going to react.
That's right, Miss Perfect Barbie, I've been peeking at you online diary, and I know all about you and your little rock-star-wannabe River.
And I quote: "Can't believe it -- River made ME a scrapbook of our Jamaica trip! So Awesome!"
Sweetheart, you may be a pretty face, but sometimes you are so stupid. How was I not going to find out about this guy when you write about him on your Web site?
What am I, an idiot?
Well, I guess it never really mattered to you anyway since you have decided to toss aside your Kenny-boy to explore greener pastures.
I suppose I can even understand where you're coming from. You are almost 45 (though you don't look a day over 20), and you don't want to be tied down to one guy.
That and the fact that you are an inveterate philanderer. That's right! I said it.
You, who are supposed to be a "role model" for millions of young girls, are actually a materialistic, vain (oh, so vain) two-timing bimbo!
How about them apples?
Well, that's it. Me and my perfectly coiffed blond hair are cruising off into the sunset, Barbara!
You can find me down at the Barbie Bar where I'll be getting Barbie bombed.
I'm done with you and your cold plastic heart.
And by the way, your sweet brunette friend Chelsea? Yeah, well, she and I have been playing dollhouse behind your back for years. Just thought you might want to know.
Love,
Ken
_________________
Mellie Amresh says, "Send someone with a bigger dick."

A set of breast implants fall from the sky with a soft plop.

Caretaker Jornnoj Vunn looks up at the sky.

A passing guard suddenly shits himself.

[HR-Trevor]

<grin> For those who did not hear, it was recently announced that Ken and Barbie are breaking up to go their separate ways.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4250262/
_________________
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." -- Plato

-- Trevor Rage / Rich Mondy

[the blue fairy]

So question is what does this tell our children....

That life isnt always perfect and people do split up no matter how much history they have?

Or does it tell them that not even in our dreams can two people stay together forever, even our child hood rolemodels?


TBF
_________________
Mellie Amresh says, "Send someone with a bigger dick."

A set of breast implants fall from the sky with a soft plop.

Caretaker Jornnoj Vunn looks up at the sky.

A passing guard suddenly shits himself.

[HR-Trevor]

Or option #3: Be shallow, make a buck where you can.
_________________
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." -- Plato

-- Trevor Rage / Rich Mondy

[senseandviolets]

Barbie's let herself go in the past few years. An attainable body? Pfff.
_________________
Behind every optic is a mathematic.