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zafire
Joined: 11 May 2007 Posts: 8
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 7:25 am Post subject: laughs |
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Lao you rock hun thanks for the laughs (huggles) |
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Tao
Joined: 19 Nov 2002 Posts: 1733 Location: Maryland
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 9:41 am Post subject: |
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Banned commercial
Yes. I agree, Lao rocks. Woohoo! _________________ Lick or Be Licked |
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ragonda A fearful red dragon
Joined: 08 Sep 2003 Posts: 614
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Tao
Joined: 19 Nov 2002 Posts: 1733 Location: Maryland
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 9:46 am Post subject: |
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A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously
divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her
new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin".
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've
been married ten times?"
"Well, husband#1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling
me how great it was going to be.
"Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really
sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look
into it and get back with me.
"Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything
checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
" Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he
had the order, ..he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
"Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process
but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a
new state of t he-art method.
"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how
but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
"Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he
was never sure how to position it.
"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.
"Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was....
....... God I miss him.
" But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".
"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?
"You're with the "GOVERNMENT"..
This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED." _________________ Lick or Be Licked |
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Tao
Joined: 19 Nov 2002 Posts: 1733 Location: Maryland
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Tao
Joined: 19 Nov 2002 Posts: 1733 Location: Maryland
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Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2007 9:30 am Post subject: |
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_________________ Lick or Be Licked |
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Denavae Lookit the flowers!
Joined: 02 Dec 2006 Posts: 289 Location: [Jareya, Hidden Cove]
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Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2007 3:28 pm Post subject: |
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That is wrong on so many levels. _________________ Life is grand. Then you become a surfer with a keen interest in thrilling acts of life-threatening stupidity and realize that the only real life, is the one full of fun times.
BoonDock Saints wrote: |
When I raise my flashing sword, and my hand takes hold on judgment, I will take vengeance upon mine enemies, and I will repay those who haze me. Oh, Lord, raise me to Thy right hand and count me among Thy saints. |
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epol Self-Proclaimed Crown Jewel
Joined: 21 Sep 2004 Posts: 140
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tygerwulf Teh Pink Assassin.
Joined: 06 Jul 2003 Posts: 1189 Location: Hiding right behind you, Don't look!
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Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 5:34 am Post subject: |
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That's flippin sweet. _________________ >ask librarian about books
An elderly librarian says, "I don't know much about that, I'm afraid." |
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Tao
Joined: 19 Nov 2002 Posts: 1733 Location: Maryland
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Tao
Joined: 19 Nov 2002 Posts: 1733 Location: Maryland
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 1:40 pm Post subject: |
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Beer anyone? _________________ Lick or Be Licked |
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Tao
Joined: 19 Nov 2002 Posts: 1733 Location: Maryland
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 1:42 pm Post subject: |
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_________________ Lick or Be Licked |
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Tao
Joined: 19 Nov 2002 Posts: 1733 Location: Maryland
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 1:46 pm Post subject: |
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_________________ Lick or Be Licked |
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Tao
Joined: 19 Nov 2002 Posts: 1733 Location: Maryland
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 9:32 am Post subject: |
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The Divorced Barbie Doll
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly
Remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a toy Shop
and asks the sales person, "How much for one of those Barbie's in the
display window?" The salesperson answers, "Which one do you mean, Sir?
We have:
Work Out Barbie for $19.95,
Shopping Barbie for $19.95,
Beach Barbie for $19.95,
Disco Barbie for $19.95,
Ballerina Barbie For $19.95,
Astronaut Barbie for $19.95,
Skater Barbie for $19.95, and
Divorced Barbie for $265.95".
The amazed father asks: "It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95
and the others only $19.95?"
The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers:
"Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's
Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer and...one of Ken's Friends." _________________ Lick or Be Licked |
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ragonda A fearful red dragon
Joined: 08 Sep 2003 Posts: 614
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Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 5:37 am Post subject: Subject: Who is Jack Schitt? |
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A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud ?thud?, and then he would swerve back on the road.
As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking, he pulled over and asked the priest, ?Where are you going, Father??
The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road.
?I?ll give you a lift.?
The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last minute, he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the road. Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud ?thud.? Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors. When he didn?t see anything, he turned to the priest and said, ?I?m sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer.?
The priest replied, ?That?s OK, I got him with the door.? _________________ «The gods made dregonard.» |
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