someting funny

[HR-Trevor]

http://www.angelfire.com/rings/ttt-subtitles/
_________________
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." -- Plato

-- Trevor Rage / Rich Mondy

[ethrstorm]

on that note did you see the hobbit song? kind of a beastie boys meets the lord of the rings. http://atomfilms.shockwave.com/af/content/lord_rhymes I think it's funny/cute in it's own strange way.
_________________
Wash, Rinse, Repeat. <---Instructions found on a brain washing machine.

[SolitaryTurnip]

Did we just slashdot that subtitles site?

Well, for those who can't see it, let me tell you RIGHT NOW that it is hilarious. It's the best at first... towards the end they start getting the names right and stuff.

Edit: They're here too...

http://public.www.planetmirror.com/pub/engrish/ttt_captions/00-20.htm

[HR-Trevor]

LOL that music video was hilarious. I feel my dorkness rating rising just by enjoying it.
_________________
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." -- Plato

-- Trevor Rage / Rich Mondy

[Tugor]

I dunno how everyone feels about Bush but i thought this was pretty funny. . .


http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blbushlordrings.htm
_________________
It is better to be pissed off than pissed on.

[senseandviolets]

How about some Holiday Engrish? ;]

http://www.engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=favoritefood.jpg&category=Containers&date=2003-02-20

http://www.engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=hellowoody.jpg&category=Containers&date=2003-02-05

http://www.engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=jackoff1.jpg&category=Adult%20Engrish&date=1996-09-17
_________________
Behind every optic is a mathematic.

[Tao]

To all dem cybersek lovers:

J-Dogg: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears27: Aight.
J-Dogg: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears27: I slip out of my pants, just for you, J-Dogg.
J-Dogg: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears27: Oh, I like to play dress up.
J-Dogg: Me too baby.
BritneySpears27: I kiss you softly on your chest.
J-Dogg: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears27: Hey...
J-Dogg: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears27: Funny I still don't see it.
J-Dogg: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuk of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears27: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
J-Dogg: Don't fuk with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
J-Dogg: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears27: Don't ever message me again you piece of shiat.
J-Dogg: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
J-Dogg: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
J-Dogg: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
J-Dogg: Baby?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

sexysusan: Thats ok. Ok I'm a japanese schoolgirl, what are you.
J-Dogg: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
sexysusan: Haha, ok lets go.
sexysusan: I put my hand through your hair, and kiss you on the neck.
J-Dogg: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
sexysusan: Haha, ok, you know that turns me on.
sexysusan: I start unbuttoning your shirt.
J-Dogg: Rhinoceruses don't were shirts.
sexysusan: No, your not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
J-Dogg: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fuking charge your ass.
sexysusan: Stop, c'mon be serious.
J-Dogg: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
J-Dogg: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
sexysusan: Thats it.
J-Dogg: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
J-Dogg: Goddam am I hard now.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

QT-Pie:Hey
Jdogg:whats goin on
QT-Pie:Nothing. Who are you?
Jdogg:Jdogg. Wanna cyber?
QT-Pie:what does that mean?
Jdogg:what are you wearing?
QT-Pie:T-shirt. Jeans.
Jdogg:Garter belt?
QT-Pie:Ummm...no.
Jdogg:Are we gonna cyber or not?
QT-Pie: uh, okay.
Jdogg:Sweet, I start by rubbing your ass all around. You love this.
Jdogg: You're wet already. I can smell your stink from here.
QT-Pie: WHAT?!
Jdogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan.
Jdogg:You leave everything to jdogg.
Jdogg:I am completely inside of you. You are my dik puppet. I put on a little play.
QT-Pie:This is weird. I should go.
Jdogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back.
QT-Pie: A stripe?
Jdogg: I need a sandwich.
QT-Pie: You're a freak.
Jdogg: I was great. You loved it.

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Katey69: Sure, you into vegetables?
J-Dogg: What like gardening an shiat?
Katey69: Yeah, something like that.
J-Dogg: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
J-Dogg: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
Katey69: is that it?
J-Dogg: You water your tomato patch.
J-Dogg: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
Katey69: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
J-Dogg: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
J-Dogg: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
Katey69: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
J-Dogg: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
J-Dogg: Damn baby your right, this shiat is HOT.
Katey69...
J-Dogg: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
Katey69: What the fart is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
J-Dogg: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
Katey69: whatever.

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G-Love: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears27: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears27: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
G-Love: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears27: WTF, I told you not to message me again.
G-Love: Oh shiat
BritneySpears27: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me fuking kiddie porn you fuk up.
G-Love: Oh shiat
G-Love: damn I gotta write down their names or something...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mandy4u26: Yeah I'm here.
J-Dogg: You ready?
Mandy4u26: Okay.
J-Dogg: I take off my trenchcoat I'm nekked beneath, with pistols on my belt.
Mandy4u26: Cowboy boots?
J-Dogg: WWI era trench issue boots.
Mandy4u26: okay...
J-Dogg: Help me pull my boots off baby.
Mandy4u26: Whats that smell?
J-Dogg: Rotting toes.
Mandy4u26: Ummm...
J-Dogg: My boots pop off. My feet are black. The toes crumble off with the slightest touch. The dead black tissue that was once my skin chips off in large crispy flakes. A smell of death pervades the room. Gangrenous pus drips from the ends of the stumps where my toes were. I look deep in your eyes, and shove my tongue down your throat.
Mandy4u26: ...
J-Dogg: You carress my ass, and trim my pubes...

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J-dogg:Your pretty funny
DirtyKate:I don't remember you.. but thanx
J-dogg:Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate:OK, but don't tell anybody (wink)
DirtyKate:Who are you?
J-dogg: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot.
J-dogg:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's
DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
J-dogg:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
J-dogg:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate:I want everything, baby!
J-dogg:Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate:Umm...Yes
DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
J-dogg:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
<pause>
DirtyKate:Jdogg, I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
J-dogg:You can't hurry good pizza.
J-dogg:I'm on my way now though
<pause>
DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now.
J-dogg:How did you know?
J-dogg:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
J-dogg:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
J-dogg:So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
J-dogg:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate:wtf?
DirtyKate:You perverted piece of shiat
DirtyKate:Fuk
_________________
Lick or Be Licked

[HR-Morrigan]

[Brenton]

[ethrstorm]

[ethrstorm]

Female Brain Cells

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell, which by mistake
happened to end up in a man's head.

She looked around nervously, but it was all empty and quiet.

"Hello?" she cried, but no answer. "Is there anyone there?" she cried
a little louder, but still no answer.

Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled
at the top of her voice, "HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE THERE?"

Then she heard a faint voice from far, far away...

"We're down here!"
_________________
Wash, Rinse, Repeat. <---Instructions found on a brain washing machine.

[ethrstorm]

Thinking Skills

A teacher was working with her seventh grade class on "Thinking
Skills". She was giving some concrete examples of deductive reasoning
skills.

"I'm holding an object behind my back", she said, "And it's round and
red."

Little Mary in the front row stuck her hand up. "Is it a cherry?" she
inquired.

"No," said the teacher, "It's an apple, but I like the way you think."

Next the teacher said, "I'm holding something behind my back. It's
long and yellow. Can anyone guess what it is?"

"A banana! A banana!" shouted little Freddy.

"No," said the teacher, "It's a pencil, but I like the way you think."

A voice boomed from the back of the room. It was Little Johnny. "Hey
teach, how about I hide something and you guess." Not to be outdone
the teacher agreed.

Little Johnny swaggered up to the front of the room, dug his hand into
his pocket, and said, "I've got something in my pocket. It's round and
hard and it's got a head on it."

The teacher thought for a moment, her face reddened. "Johnny, that's
obscene, sit down."

"No it's not teach," he said as he brought his hand out of his pocket.
"It's a quarter, but I like the way you think."
_________________
Wash, Rinse, Repeat. <---Instructions found on a brain washing machine.

[ethrstorm]

Filler Up:
One day I was at the gas station pumping gas and the lady next to me
was smoking a cigarette while she pumped her gas. I told her that was
dangerous and her reply was "Don't worry I do this all the time." All
of the sudden her arm caught in fire. She spotted a policeman across
the street and ran over there waving her arm. The police officer
pulled out his gun and shot her. When I asked the policeman why he did
such a thing he replied, "She was waving a firearm at me."
_________________
Wash, Rinse, Repeat. <---Instructions found on a brain washing machine.

[ethrstorm]

2. Woman Of His Dreams

A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just
met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? His mother had an
idea, "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to
your apartment for a home-cooked meal?" He thought this was a great
strategy, and arranged a date for a week later. His mother called the
day after the big date to see how things had gone.

"The evening was a disaster," he moaned.

"Why, didn't she come over?" asked his mother.

"Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook...."


3. Mother's Day

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day
morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the
smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen. But after a good long wait
she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both
sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs. "As a surprise for
Mother's Day," one explained, "we decided to cook our own breakfast."
_________________
Wash, Rinse, Repeat. <---Instructions found on a brain washing machine.

[Tao]

An elderly couple met for a romp in the broom closet at the nursing home. They undressed and were about to screw, The woman decided to warn the man of her heart condition.
"I should tell you, I have acute angina" she said.
The man replied, "thats good because you have the ugliest breasts I ever seen!"


-------------------------------------------------------------

A Koala bear decides he wants to get laid, so he picks up a hooker. He goes down on her several times and they are really enjoying themselves. After they are finished the koala bear starts getting dressed.
The hooker says, "wheres my money?"
The koala bear shrugs his shoulders. The hooker repeats herself asking for her money. Again he shrugs his shoulders. The hooker grabs a dictionary and looks up the word hooker and shows it to the koala bear.
It says "gets paid for sex."
The koala bear picks up the dictionary and looks up Koala Bear and shows it to the hooker.
It says, "Eats bush and leaves!"
_________________
Lick or Be Licked