someting funny

[Brokyn]

In south Georgia, all of the local rednecks already believe all of those bullet points. Soooo...

--William
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Haelrahv Wiki!
++Brown Nosing Points

[HR-Mickey]

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."

"Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a hit man," was the reply.

"You're joking!" was the response.

"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."

"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.

"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window." "Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her...... He's naked, too!!! The bitch!"

He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?" "I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

"Can you do two for me now?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth."

"Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."

The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.

"Just be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here..."
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Mickey Brunner

To make a long story short, don't tell it.

I may be going nowhere, but I'm going nowhere fast.
---
Kelvin Watt says, "I stopped drinking coke when no longer drinking beer didn't make my gut disappear."
---
Kaelin Rae says, "Wait a minute..."
Kaelin Rae says, "You mean they have a COKE machine that dispenses beer."
Kaelin Rae nods to you.
Kaelin Rae says, "Greaser."
Kaelin Rae looks at you and sighs.

[fatboy]

Quick Thinker

A man in a Florida supermarket tried to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persisted and asked to see the manager. The boy said he would ask his manager about it.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some a-hole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half." The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"

"Canada, sir," the boy replied.

"Well , why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there"

"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada."

"No shit?" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"
_________________
You hack your way through a very young fisherman's back. It may not have been pretty, but it got the job done.
A very young fisherman groans and collapses.

[HR-Trevor]

That was fantastic.
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"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." -- Plato

-- Trevor Rage / Rich Mondy

[Tao]

The J-dogg is back with more cybering. If ya missed the others, go to page 3.


J-Dogg: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.

Partner: mmmm, okay.

J-Dogg: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.

Partner: Yeah I like it rough.

J-Dogg: I smack you thick booty.

Partner: Oh yeah, that feels good j.

J-Dogg: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.

J-Dogg: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.

Partner: you like that?

J-Dogg: I peel some bananas.

Partner: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?

J-Dogg: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.

Partner: Peanuts?

J-Dogg: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.

Partner: What are you talking about?

J-Dogg: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.

Partner: This is stupid.

J-Dogg: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.

J-Dogg: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?

J-Dogg: Yeeaahhhh.

Partner: /ignore

J-Dogg: Its cool stone cold she was a b*tch anyway.

J-Dogg: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.





-----------------------------



Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?

J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.

Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg"

J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and sh*t. You know, rollin

with tha homies and sh*t.

Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?

J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns.

Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?

J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby.

Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".

J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big.

Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?

J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.

Partner6: It likes that.

J-Dogg: aight.

Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...

J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.

Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.

J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...

Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.

J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...

Partner6: WTF?!

J-Dogg: Oh sh*t, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!

Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only f*ck women...

J-Dogg: Sh*t just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!

Partner6: You dipsh*t.

J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...

J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.

-----------------
J-Dogg: I see you in line at the supermarket. Our eyes meet.
Partner8: Who the fuck are you?
J-Dogg: I mouth the words to you, as if in slow motion:
J-Dogg: Fuck me, Fuck me.
J-Dogg: My wishes are like poetry in your eyes. We want this moment to last forever.
Partner8: OMFG are you trying to cyber me?
J-Dogg: We are like two dancers, for whom the music never stops. I Kiss the top of your hand. You are taken aback by the bulge that forms in your thigh.
Partner8: Is that like cancer?
J-Dogg: If cancer is our love, then I hope you don't have the technology of chemotherapy.
Partner8: Good one romeo.
J-Dogg: You grab the bulge that you feel. you tihink it must be taking over your mind, theres nothing else you can think of. My tubesteak to you is like a beautiful japanese haiku.
The salmon swim at night.
Towards your room.
The snow and the moon.
Partner8: that was never a haiku.
J-Dogg: To your light bulb I am the Thomas Edison of your sex. Withought my light you would be lost in a sea of darkness.
Partner8: That made even less sense than your "haiku"
J-Dogg: So you ready to fuck then?
Partner8: You unbutton my pants, spew your load at the sight of my underwear, and your spent.
J-Dogg: ...
Partner8: ?
J-Dogg: I'm spent.
_________________
Lick or Be Licked

[Tao]

What did Cinderella do when she reached the ball?


She choked.
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Lick or Be Licked

[Tao]

Owned!
_________________
Lick or Be Licked

[Tao]

Damn!! Ouch!
_________________
Lick or Be Licked

[soundless]

[HR-Trevor]

[Tao]

Say no to drugs
_________________
Lick or Be Licked

[HR-Mickey]

Coming in late... what is "hyphy"? A (deliberate?) mispronunciation of hi-fi?
_________________
Mickey Brunner

To make a long story short, don't tell it.

I may be going nowhere, but I'm going nowhere fast.
---
Kelvin Watt says, "I stopped drinking coke when no longer drinking beer didn't make my gut disappear."
---
Kaelin Rae says, "Wait a minute..."
Kaelin Rae says, "You mean they have a COKE machine that dispenses beer."
Kaelin Rae nods to you.
Kaelin Rae says, "Greaser."
Kaelin Rae looks at you and sighs.

[Tao]

[HR-Mickey]

Oh.

It was easier to digest when I thought they were mispronouncing hi-fi.
_________________
Mickey Brunner

To make a long story short, don't tell it.

I may be going nowhere, but I'm going nowhere fast.
---
Kelvin Watt says, "I stopped drinking coke when no longer drinking beer didn't make my gut disappear."
---
Kaelin Rae says, "Wait a minute..."
Kaelin Rae says, "You mean they have a COKE machine that dispenses beer."
Kaelin Rae nods to you.
Kaelin Rae says, "Greaser."
Kaelin Rae looks at you and sighs.

[Tao]

Warning! Not something to be watched at work or in front of the lil ones.

Baby Got Back!
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Lick or Be Licked