|
|
|
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
Author |
Message |
the blue fairy Grandmistress
Joined: 09 Dec 2003 Posts: 1049 Location: my own hell
|
Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 2:42 pm Post subject: what a woman wants |
|
|
King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch
of a neighboring
kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was
moved by Arthur's
youth and ideals. So the monarch offered him freedom,
as long as he
could answer a very difficult question.
Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and
if, after a year,
he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question: What do women really want?
Such a question would perplex even the most
knowledgeable man, and to
young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But,
since it was better
than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to
have an answer by
year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll
everybody: the princess,
the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, and the
court jester. He
spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a
satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch --
only she would know
the answer.
The price would be high; the witch was famous
throughout the kingdom for
the exorbitant prices she charged. Finally, the last
day of the year
arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to
the witch. She
agreed to answer the question, but he had to accept
her price first. The
old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most notable of
the Knights of the
Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified: she was hunchbacked and
hideous, had only
one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises...
etc. He had never
encountered such a repugnant creature. He refused to
force his friend to
marry her and have to endure such a burden.
Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with
Arthur. He told him
that nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to
Arthur's life and the
preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch
answered Arthur thus:
What a woman really wants is to be in charge of her
own life.
Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a
great truth and
that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The
neighboring
monarch granted Arthur total freedom.
What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was
torn between relief
and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and
courteous. The old
witch put her worst manners on display, and generally
made everyone very
uncomfortable.
The hour approached, Gawain, steeling himself for a
horrific experience,
entered the bedroom. But what a sight waited him! The
most beautiful
woman he had never seen lay before him!
The astounded Gawain asked what had happened. The
beauty replied that
since he had been so kind to her when she'd appeared
as a witch, she
would henceforth be her horrible, deformed self half
the time, and the
other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self.
Which would he want
her to be during the day, and during the night?
What a cruel question! Gawain pondered his
predicament. During the day,
a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at
night, in the
privacy of his home, an old witch?
Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but
by night a
beautiful woman with whom to enjoy many intimate
moments?
What would you do?
(Pause awhile and do not read on until you have made
up your own mind)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for
herself. Upon
hearing this, she announced that she would be
beautiful all the time,
because he had respected her enough to let her be in
charge of her own
life.
What is the moral of this story?
THE MORAL IS:
IF A WOMAN DOESN'T GET HER WAY, THINGS GET UGLY _________________ Mellie Amresh says, "Send someone with a bigger dick."
A set of breast implants fall from the sky with a soft plop.
Caretaker Jornnoj Vunn looks up at the sky.
A passing guard suddenly shits himself. |
|
Back to top » |
|
|
Brenton /fidget
Joined: 05 Jul 2003 Posts: 523
|
Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 3:11 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Where'd you get that? Its like a basterdization of the canterbury tales, the Wife of Bath's story. Or was that a legend and then chaucer decided to use it...? _________________
Code: |
[Telepathy] Mystico Birdo projects: HEY YARU< YOUR AN OLD MAN PRETENDING TO BE A LIL BOY. |
|
|
Back to top » |
|
|
the blue fairy Grandmistress
Joined: 09 Dec 2003 Posts: 1049 Location: my own hell
|
Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 3:44 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Was sent to me from a friend
TBF _________________ Mellie Amresh says, "Send someone with a bigger dick."
A set of breast implants fall from the sky with a soft plop.
Caretaker Jornnoj Vunn looks up at the sky.
A passing guard suddenly shits himself. |
|
Back to top » |
|
|
Tylen Alpha Antifemale
Joined: 29 Jul 2003 Posts: 1192 Location: Not Colorado
|
Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 3:49 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I always heard the moral as:
Quote: |
It doesn't matter if your woman is beautiful or ugly. Underneath it all, she's still a witch. |
_________________ ** The phrase "break a leg" just wasn't ambitious enough for Mellie Knight. [8:31 pm]
** Mellie Knight was soundly defeated by Aesal Anari-Idia in the Zgedhi Gkenrzeg Rav! [8:31 pm] |
|
Back to top » |
|
|
SolitaryTurnip
Joined: 17 Jul 2003 Posts: 1724 Location: Your mom (burn)
|
Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:25 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Quote: |
The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most notable of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! |
Gawaine? No he wasn't. Lancelot was the most notable and Arthur's closest friend. Pfft. |
|
Back to top » |
|
|
tygerwulf Teh Pink Assassin.
Joined: 06 Jul 2003 Posts: 1189 Location: Hiding right behind you, Don't look!
|
Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 8:41 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Oh oh! I know the answer! Pick me Pick me!!
Pink!! Pink!! Pink!!
Give a woman teh pinkness, she's happy, unless she's crazy, then you have to let her kill anyone she wants, with a pink rifle of course. _________________ >ask librarian about books
An elderly librarian says, "I don't know much about that, I'm afraid." |
|
Back to top » |
|
|
HR-Hunter
Joined: 06 Sep 2002 Posts: 564 Location: [Deep Wilderness Shrine, Haelrahv]
|
Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 9:15 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Quote: |
Gawaine? No he wasn't. Lancelot was the most notable and Arthur's closest friend. Pfft. |
Depends on what period of the Arthur legend you're in, Gawain joined Arthur before Lancelot did, and Gawain didn't run off with Arthur's wife either. _________________ ~Hunter~ |
|
Back to top » |
|
|
SolitaryTurnip
Joined: 17 Jul 2003 Posts: 1724 Location: Your mom (burn)
|
Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 9:37 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Quote: |
Depends on what period of the Arthur legend you're in, Gawain joined Arthur before Lancelot did |
Hmm that's true. Touche.
Quote: |
Gawain didn't run off with Arthur's wife either. |
Well, now, Gwen and Lancelot never actually ran off together. And it seemed like Arthur didn't really get too mad that Gwen was with Lancelot more than she was with him. Man, that was a good book. I've only read The Once and Future King... But since then I've thought about reading Le Morte D' Arthur. Mmm hmm... quite good.
Edited for spelling... I don't know French at all.
Last edited by SolitaryTurnip on Sun Feb 22, 2004 4:41 pm; edited 1 time in total |
|
Back to top » |
|
|
senseandviolets
Joined: 22 Jun 2003 Posts: 358 Location: Land of the lizards.
|
Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 4:32 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Quote: |
Well, now, Gwen and Lancelot never actually ran off together. And it seemed like Arthur didn't really get too mad that Gwen was with Lancelot |
In The Mists of Avalon they all get kinky together. _________________ Behind every optic is a mathematic. |
|
Back to top » |
|
|
SolitaryTurnip
Joined: 17 Jul 2003 Posts: 1724 Location: Your mom (burn)
|
Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2004 4:40 pm Post subject: |
|
|
*looks up Mists of Avalon on Amazon*
Whaa? Told by the women? Craziness. |
|
Back to top » |
|
|
hey_guy
Joined: 22 May 2004 Posts: 3
|
Posted: Mon May 24, 2004 5:21 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Okay, so the story: It's originally older than Chaucer. And Lancelot always runs away with Gueneviere/Gweneviere. Arthur never wants them caught. At least, in all the stories up to OaFK. Bradley did give a different version of the story, and I never read it, just the criticism on it, so I wouldn't know about the gangbangs.
Player of Guy Guerrmo, not a lurker, I swear. |
|
Back to top » |
|
|
Xeiesa
Joined: 30 Apr 2004 Posts: 8
|
Posted: Mon May 24, 2004 8:29 pm Post subject: |
|
|
SolitaryTurnip wrote: |
But since then I've thought about reading Le Morte D' Arthur. Mmm hmm... quite good. |
Le Morte D'Arthur is not exactly a great thing to pick up for light reading. It's told in a sort of hodge podge way with lots of detailed following of the knights on their many (strange) little quests. I would only recommend it for those who really like 12-15th century literature or are really die-hard Arthur fans. On the plus side, it is supposed to be the original collection of Arthur tales.
- Xeiesa Ceii -
Knower of Strange Arthurian Facts
Last edited by Xeiesa on Mon May 24, 2004 11:01 pm; edited 1 time in total |
|
Back to top » |
|
|
SolitaryTurnip
Joined: 17 Jul 2003 Posts: 1724 Location: Your mom (burn)
|
Posted: Mon May 24, 2004 9:33 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Hmm, in that case I might stay away from it... thanks for the warning *grins*. Oh, and by the way, to get the quotes to work, you have to put the name in quotation marks, like this:
Code: |
[quote="name"][/quote] |
|
|
Back to top » |
|
|
Xeiesa
Joined: 30 Apr 2004 Posts: 8
|
Posted: Mon May 24, 2004 11:00 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Oops... I knew that. I was just spaced. Hee.
- X.C. - |
|
Back to top » |
|
|
HR-Morrigan
Joined: 06 Sep 2002 Posts: 683 Location: Trooper Tower, Titan City
|
Posted: Tue May 25, 2004 9:41 am Post subject: |
|
|
Quote: |
Bradley did give a different version of the story, and I never read it, just the criticism on it, so I wouldn't know about the gangbangs. |
Gangbangs? Hardly. They do celebrate a Beltaine feast in there, and even though sex is involved, its not like a wild porno movie. Its a religious ceremony. Sheesh. [/rant]
Anyway, while Mists of Avalon isn't that close to the traditional story, it's still a good read and one of my favorite books. _________________ God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion.
--Superintendent Chalmers
Morrigan Blackfury |
|
Back to top » |
|
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
|
|
|
|
|